Day Off?????? Not!

Nothing like a day off. Or is it? Nah gotta do a lot of stuff today. Barn cleaning is on top of the list. Hate that one. Will have lots of help today. First though is run. Gotta do that then I know it is done. Just waiting to get that burst of energy that is taking it's time getting here.

Then after barn worked on, fun with the kids. They have been looking forward to mom not having to go to work. Looking back I didn't realize how important it was to have mom home. I just took it for granted that she would always be there and she was. What a different feeling it must be to know that I am not there. Well only a phone call away but is that the same?

Important to spend quality time with the kids not just quantity. Alot of times it is the stuff that I want to do. Like we road bikes to mom and dad's yesterday and you would have thought that I was making them ride a marathon. Trying to get some fun in along with exercise. Hard to do sometimes. Trying to get the kids to see that exercise can be fun. I thought that they would learn through example but that isn't cutting it. I am trying not to push them but nudge them along. Trying to get them to see the benefits at a young age so that they won't have to struggle all their life like I did. Height is not on our side. So we do have to work harder at it. Staying active and eating healthy. Trying! It is a journey in itself. Easier when your in good company though. Are you in good company? I am!

Early Morning Thoughts...

Are people put in your life at certain times to make you think? Do things just happen or where they there to prove something or make you think about things?

Had a 84 yr old woman in my chair yesterday and she was having a hard time taking care of her 89 yr old husband. Together for 65 yrs and she didn't want to put him in a home because he didn't want to go. She went on to tell me that he is a big man and she was barely 4 11. She said that he likes to shower but all she can do is a sponge bath. My heart went out to her. There was obvious love here. She didn't know what to do or where to turn. I told her that she needed to take care of herself first. Talk about some great places out there that may help. Even gave her my number if she needed someone since I am close by. Giving up control doesn't mean you don't care. Asking for help doesn't make you weak. Obvious to me that these two are in love and that is forever in their book. So...

Why do we take the easy way out? I seem to be coming in contact with more and more couples who stand the test of time and seem to really enjoy their mate. I am always compelled to ask the question... How do you do it? What is the secret? She answered with no pause" we are best friends." Is that what it takes?

It is one thing to love someone but to like them, truly like, that can be the challenge. I think I am going to start asking if they like themselves and see if there is a correlation. I think it has to start with ourselves and blossom from there.

Early morning thoughts when it is raining out and running is just isn't in the cards today, well at least not now. Trying to realize what is and is not important in life. Can change from time to time. But there is always the core that we come down too. Love of God and oneself. If you have core, it can always work!

Need a Little Sunshine

Normally when I get up, I am ready to go. My feet hit the floor and it is a great day. Today I feel a bit down. It is still dark out. No sun yet and not sure what the forecast is. Why does the weather affect how our moods are? How do we make it sunny and 78 in our world all the time? Attitude! How do we get that? Try to go to that sunny place and stay there until the outside wants to agree. Why do we let those little insignificant things so influence how we see things?

It has to rain sometimes so that our gardens grow. If we where happy all the time would we truly know how it is too be happy? Would we recognize it or would just plain take it for granted? Are we taking the "good" people in our lives for granted? Do we tell them what they do for us and how they affect our daily lives?

Reevaluating what is important and what is just "stuff". Will it matter in 20yr is what I have been saying alot when I come to a dilemma. I would say that 99% of the time it is NO. If it truly matters I probably wouldn't ask the question, I would just know.

Life can be overwhelming if you take it on as a whole. But if you split it up into one day at a time, it can be manageable. Sometimes one hour at a time is all that you can handle. What ever you have to do to get through those dark mornings because the sun is just beyond the clouds. Time heals all.

So just breathe. And smile. You know that you look better that way anyways.

Do You Really Know Me????????

Just wanted to share some little known facts about me.

Did you know that my favorite ice cream is choc chip mint and rarely do I eat anything else and have been known to go someone where else if they don't carry it.
My favorite color is red.
I scare very easily.
If I were a candy bar i would be a snicker.
I want to own a small house on a lake or water someday.
I would like to become a motivational speaker one day but I am not sure what I would say.
One thing I would change about me if I could would be the thickness of my hair.
My favorite feature is my eyes.
That is the first thing I look at when I meet someone.
If I won a million dollars, I would quit my job.
I would like to remarry someday.
I really do dislike steak.
My weakness is nacho chips and cheese.
I prefer hot and spicy foods.
I like me.
I didn't before.
I am very emotional.
And that is a good thing.
I am touchy feelly with those I am comfortable with.
If I had to do it all again I would.
I would never change a thing.
It makes me who I am today.
I am Denise. I am positive (today). I am grateful. I am thankful. I will continue on my journey, one step at a time. Stay and enjoy me.

Dwelling

I did something yesterday that I haven't done in a long time...I stayed home. Oh yea I did my certain routine everyday things but I told myself it was time to dwell. It seems that when the kids are not around~I am off. What is it about being alone that I don't like. Is it a bad thing?

I made my list (cuz you know that is what I do) and I started checking it off. I figured start in one room and work your way through the whole house. Well the list got made and as I started, one thing lead into another and I still have the list. Isn;t it funny how a clean house doesn't seem to impress any one but yourself. And no one seems to even see that the grass got cut.

What is important to one is not to another. The older I get, the less that "things" matter. I will never be known for my clean house but I may be known for a my smile. I will not have the most "stuff" to pass on to my kids but maybe they will stop and smell the roses. I think that I am trying to live life more like that. I hope that my kids will know God like I do. That is the important things.

It was good to stay home yesterday. Realizing what is important and what is just "stuff".

Hear Me Now...Listen Later?

Why are we so quick to say "huh" what did you say or total ignore the person. I believe in this fast pace lifestyle we lead we need to "touch" that person to let them know that we want their attention. The pure sound of one's voice just doesn't seem to cut it anymore.

Why is that? Are we so busy in ourselves? So wrapped up in our work that it doesn't seem to phase us? I can honestly say that I am sick of saying things two and three times before someone hears me. But do I hear the first time? I am trying. It has taken "opened eyes" to realize the importance of this. When it is being ignored. I seem to get a bit irritated. "Do you not hear them?" "Are you not listening?" Touch them physically and they will give their attention. Sometimes?

What if what I have to say is truly important? Not something to be taken lightly? What if you miss it? Will I say it again? Don't just hear me, listen to what I am truly saying to you. I sometimes speak in code but if you know me, you will know what I am saying.

I am worthy of your attention. Did you hear what I am saying?

Good Times and Great Friends

Yesterday took time to catch up with some old and new friends. Went over to friends house and had drinks on the patio and just talked. When was the last time you took time to just reacquaint yourself with friends? It was a great nite. Laughter was not a problem. Stories of catching up on what have you been doing with your life was plentiful. Smell the roses I say. Life is short and I think that there are those out there who are missing the boat. It was a wonderful evening being with the ones you love. So when you say "hey we need to get together...set a date and do it!"

I don't think you will regret it unless you don't mean it. Had a great nite. Cam.

Miles Stones

New mile stone met. Yesterday while on a family vacation, I ran my first 8k. Oh yea I ran five miles before but not in a race. Why do I run these races? I know that Im not going to win and I get all knotted up before them. But I think it is the challenge that Im looking for. The respect that I can do this and I am doing this.

Looking back there is no way that Denise would run a race. But she is! Many times the subject comes up~Do people change? Can they? I would have said no before a 2yrs ago. You know the saying once a cheater always one. Ok bad example but everyone has heard that one before. Well I do believe that we can and do change. For many it has to come down to the core, life changing moment. I truely believe that you have to surrender to it and give it to God before transformation can take place. My dad talked about giving it to God some 8 years ago and I didn't quite get that...now I do. It is that lite bulb that goes off in your head and you realize how it all works. Well at least a small part of how it all works.

Anyway back to the road race, I set the goal and I finished it. Even got fourth place! Not too mention that there was only 6 in my age division. But that doesn't matter. Another thing that matters is who is there in the end. Support is always good and that makes the race a bit easier to know that someone is there to hold you up when you want to die. And oh yes I wanted too die after this one.

Life is a race. Some of us sign up early in the game and others are forced to enter, late in the game. There are those who set along the side line and just watch. Possiblly cheering others on or wishing that they could enter the race. And still others are putting on the race running it to make sure it all goes as planned. Helping others get through there race so that they may race another.

So are you running your own personal race? Or are you waiting til the race is done? We have limited time here. Make the difference in your life and there too will make a difference in someone elses. I have seen it first hand and it does work. I am a firm believer. Thanks for all your support!

Transitions

Switching roles can be very difficult to do. I hold so many titles and trying to put on the hat that is needed can be hard to do. Not that I can't do it but the transition time that is required is tricky.

When the kids come home on Sunday from a long hard week with dad and I haven't had ample time to adjust to mom mode...hmmmmm can be a little stressed. Different rules in a different house. It all works but there is adjustment time needed. Summers are busy,busy with little structure and that can tend to "freak" me out! Working on the "will it matter in 20yrs" thinking but I need to be reminded of it at times.

Faith in knowing that this is where I am suppose to be at this time...challenging. Giving up control of others~another put my faith in~that it does all eventually work and work for the better. Trust in others that they are there to help and learning to except the help another story. More letting go of past so that there may be a future. Sometimes not more than a breath in and out.

Live, Laugh and Love. Words to live by. Think I am doing an ok job at it...most of the time!