Me time

Recharging or just plain lazy? I like to think the later. Home by myself, no one to cook for and no one to clean up after. I run around like a mad women in the day only to come home and collapse in my bed. Check the computer, that is boring. Look on the TV, only junk on. Start to fall asleep and it is only 9 pm. Guess that is what my body says it is time to do until...3am rolls around. Up and wide awake. So do the things I need to do at home. Hair dye for the holidays, check. Get on the gazelle because it is something I can do at my home, check. Thinking I even have time to hop on my bike that Joe brought in from the garage for the winter. Laundry needs to be folded. Nope don't think it is lazy, just my clock is set on my schedule not others.
There are some benefits to having the kids see their dad every other week. I am seeing the blessings. Trying to get back to me time too. That is important. It may not be time spent in the woods chasing the white tail but it is refreshing just the same. Think I am going to get my toes and nails done too this week. Because I can and it's important to me.
Dinner with friends and a little retail therapy that is all good too. Ok got to go the bike is calling my name and I have the time to devote to it.

Oh Nurse

Pain what brings it on. Many types of them. Ones you can take something for and ones you can't. How we deal with that depends on what type.
In the past several months I have watch many I love go through some terrible pain. I am not sure it is harder for the one going through or the one watching them suffer and not sure of how to calm that fear. I think for the caregiver it would be much easier for them to carry the burden. Believe me I am not one for pain especially the internal kind. Cut me all you want but don't give me any type of stomach thing. Can't handle them kinds. Now I know why I didn't go into the nursing business. For the most part I would be" come on it's a little cut. " But we all handle things differently. Emotional pain now that would be hard and when physical and emotional come together...ugh. Hard to handle.
I do believe that God doesn't give us more than we can handle also. That, in the past, has helped me numerous times. In times of trials, we grow stronger. We are made to lean on others. We go through so that one day, our experiences are the ROCK for others.
As I run there are times I feel like giving up. It's too hard, it's too long, it's too hot, if it doesn't kill me; it makes me stronger. I am much stronger in so many ways. I am on a journey. I am where I am suppose to be. Giving up, not an option. Turning back, not now. Pressing forward, one step at a time. Looking up and moving one day at a time. I hope that others see and believe also.