Running, a time to think. Weather is changing. I am changing. Trying new things with some new people. Liking what I am doing. Kids are changing too. Balking the system if you will. Spreading their wings and testing me. One day a lunch they all seem to gang up on me with the help of others which will go nameless for now. "Mom your too over protective." You don't let us do anything. But dad lets us do that."
Different house, different rules. Yea I will admit it is hard to see them growing up. Especially the youngest. Will probably always see him as a baby. More of that letting go thing. Even let the words slip if you think it is so bad go live with your father. Opps. That will probably be tried a few times or more and do I really want to see that? Maybe living with mom not such a bad thing. Rules, schedules and expectations not a bad thing. But will they see it that way?
Saturday, August 23, 2008
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
Burrrrrrrr
It is getting colder and the days are getting shorter. You know what that means. Fall and then the dreaded winter. Still looking for that hobby. Need to keep active. Need to keep busy. Kids are in some fall sports that will keep me busy but gotta find something for me.
I hate waking up cold. Recently I have been sleeping in until 6 or later. But now it is getting chilly I am up at 5 bells. Thought I was changing that. Nope wide awake at 5. So get up but I also notice hard to keep my eyes open at 9. Changing like the seasons.
Speaking of changing...went on a motorcycle trip to UP last weekend and hated to ride my bike. Got caught in the rain twice(and they said it wasn't going to rain). Noticed that I was cold more than I wanted to be. Even thought of putting it up for sale as soon as I clean it. Now what up with that? That is changing. Never thought you would hear me say FOR SALE and not have another one in the wings. It just doesn't seem to be that important or enjoyable anymore. And isn't that how life should be? Do what makes you happy? Change, re discover yourself, try some new things? Now I know why some go through mid life crisis. But does it have to be a negative? Nada. Think I am discovering for the first time. Who is Denise? What makes her tick? What makes her smile? Before I think I went with what comes next. We go to college, get a degree, get married, and have kids, It is how it is suppose to go. Then some where in the mix, we lose our self. Not necessarily a bad thing but we forget what we want and need to do for ourselves. I think we all go through it just all at different times. I am glad to know that I am going through it when I don't have a husband that may or may not suffer because of it, not that that has to happen that way. But from experience, it usually does. Why because of lack of communication. That simple!
Wow where did that come from? Wasn't going to even blog today. Guess it was time.
I hate waking up cold. Recently I have been sleeping in until 6 or later. But now it is getting chilly I am up at 5 bells. Thought I was changing that. Nope wide awake at 5. So get up but I also notice hard to keep my eyes open at 9. Changing like the seasons.
Speaking of changing...went on a motorcycle trip to UP last weekend and hated to ride my bike. Got caught in the rain twice(and they said it wasn't going to rain). Noticed that I was cold more than I wanted to be. Even thought of putting it up for sale as soon as I clean it. Now what up with that? That is changing. Never thought you would hear me say FOR SALE and not have another one in the wings. It just doesn't seem to be that important or enjoyable anymore. And isn't that how life should be? Do what makes you happy? Change, re discover yourself, try some new things? Now I know why some go through mid life crisis. But does it have to be a negative? Nada. Think I am discovering for the first time. Who is Denise? What makes her tick? What makes her smile? Before I think I went with what comes next. We go to college, get a degree, get married, and have kids, It is how it is suppose to go. Then some where in the mix, we lose our self. Not necessarily a bad thing but we forget what we want and need to do for ourselves. I think we all go through it just all at different times. I am glad to know that I am going through it when I don't have a husband that may or may not suffer because of it, not that that has to happen that way. But from experience, it usually does. Why because of lack of communication. That simple!
Wow where did that come from? Wasn't going to even blog today. Guess it was time.
Thursday, August 14, 2008
Deep Breaths
Time for rest. It has been a very busy week of work work and more work. Time to come home and bike or go for a quick run. The house is quiet and calm. No kids, no tv or radio. Just the hum of of the refrigerator and a passing car outside. Something to be said about quiet. Time to think, wonder and contemplate. Where do I want to be? Where am I going? Will I know when I arrive?
It is quiet now. But that is only temporary? That is a good thing. Life is meant be with someone, someones. Share the good and the bad, the ups and downs, and everything in between. Lean when your about to fall over. Rub a tiring head when the ache just doesn't seem to want to go away.
It is good to be able to rest while knowing someone is keeping watch. Comfort in knowing. Able to truly let go and know that it will be ok when the resting is done. Giving up a bit of responsibility and knowing that it is still there. Good feeling. Just knowing.
It is quiet now. But that is only temporary? That is a good thing. Life is meant be with someone, someones. Share the good and the bad, the ups and downs, and everything in between. Lean when your about to fall over. Rub a tiring head when the ache just doesn't seem to want to go away.
It is good to be able to rest while knowing someone is keeping watch. Comfort in knowing. Able to truly let go and know that it will be ok when the resting is done. Giving up a bit of responsibility and knowing that it is still there. Good feeling. Just knowing.
Friday, August 8, 2008
Ughhhhhhhhh
What to do when you feel it? Crabbiness, irritation, shortness coming on and you don't know how to stop it. Hormones that only a women knows. Man knows to stay away. The kids are learning. Promises you made that you have too keep because you promised. "You said a friend could sleep over, you said we would go to A&W and eat in the new car." "You said we would go swimming today, go to the library and to the bank." Oh you spilled your whole root beer on the floor. Oh that is ok. You said we would do this and that. But when your tired and all you want to do it vegg. What to do? Well you mustard up all that you have and you proceed. You route out the activities of the day and go. Then when all is done, you go for a run because that is a sense of peace for you. And it seemed to help. At least for the moment.
Well today is a new day. Try to put on a new attitude. Hope that you got enough sleep to do the challenging weekend. Going to some cabins with five kids. Want to make it fun. No electricity in cabins, no game boys, no tv. Good Old fashion get back to nature. It sounds like the Norman Rockwell picture but it always looks better on paper. Want to be fun mom once in awhile. Do something a bit different from the norm and hope it goes over well.
Putting on a better attitude. Gonna go with the flow and hope it pans out. I am excited to go. Making memories that will last! I hope.
Well today is a new day. Try to put on a new attitude. Hope that you got enough sleep to do the challenging weekend. Going to some cabins with five kids. Want to make it fun. No electricity in cabins, no game boys, no tv. Good Old fashion get back to nature. It sounds like the Norman Rockwell picture but it always looks better on paper. Want to be fun mom once in awhile. Do something a bit different from the norm and hope it goes over well.
Putting on a better attitude. Gonna go with the flow and hope it pans out. I am excited to go. Making memories that will last! I hope.
Wednesday, August 6, 2008
Who Do We Feed?
Recently, I have been reminded that we have the power to feed both the good and bads in this world. Why do people thrive on all the "negatives" of the world? Is it so much more interesting in life? Does it makes "us" feel better about our self if we make others feel worse? Well, we do have the power to give in to it or reject it. Feed it and it grows. Walk away and it will loose interest and die, or at least waits til we re fuel it.
Isn't it funny that we can and do have the power to see situations in both good and bad light. In Church the other day the sermon was about "why does bad things happen to good people?" It is what it is. Things happen and it is up to us to see how we handle it. We fuel the fire and it is up to us to tend to it. Wow more choices. I hope that when we see that there is only negative in a situation that you have a positive energy in your life to tell you different. It is easy to see the bad~sometimes we have to "uncover" the good. That may mean a little work on our parts to do that. It may require a bit of a soul search but it is there if you want it too be.
So what do you feed? The power is with you not with the one dishing. Except or reject. Know that I support the positive. Hold someones hand for that may one day you need that same hand supporting you!
Isn't it funny that we can and do have the power to see situations in both good and bad light. In Church the other day the sermon was about "why does bad things happen to good people?" It is what it is. Things happen and it is up to us to see how we handle it. We fuel the fire and it is up to us to tend to it. Wow more choices. I hope that when we see that there is only negative in a situation that you have a positive energy in your life to tell you different. It is easy to see the bad~sometimes we have to "uncover" the good. That may mean a little work on our parts to do that. It may require a bit of a soul search but it is there if you want it too be.
So what do you feed? The power is with you not with the one dishing. Except or reject. Know that I support the positive. Hold someones hand for that may one day you need that same hand supporting you!
Saturday, August 2, 2008
Wow Can't Believe It
Well race #6 in the bag. I finished in 3rd in my age group, not to mention I shaved 1.15 minutes off my time. That is way cool and I feel accomplished. I didn't go out planning to win anything but I gave it my all and it payed off. Even had my boyfriend and sister and brother in it too. That was cool in itself. Support is always welcomed and makes life that more easy to get through. Not to mention much more interesting.
Well Im at my family reunion now so it is time to get back to family. Continue on my journey with me~it is getting interesting.
Well Im at my family reunion now so it is time to get back to family. Continue on my journey with me~it is getting interesting.
Friday, August 1, 2008
Deep Breath
Busy, busy overwhelmed. This week I was on the go. Working daily and trying to prepare for the reunion. Sleep hasn't been the best but when you have a lot on your mind I guess it comes out in how you sleep. Not finishing all you set out to do and trying to do it in the wee hours becomes exhausting. Worry worry why do we do it? And is it possible to give it away?
They say worry is a useless emotion, but who is they and do they have the power to say that? I have been trying to do that~worry less. Whatever will be~will be. Good thought but practical?~not so sure.
Not sure if you seen a professor the other day on tv. He was a young guy who was going to die and he had 3 young kids. He knew that he couldn't beat the cancer so he gave a "last lecture". I think you can find it on U tube. Anyways it was so touching, he was leaving a video diary to his kids on how to live.
And isn't that the nuts and bolts of it all, we are so busy working, worrying, making money, spending money. We forget to live. When was the last time you skipped just because? Picked a flower and truly smelled it? Made someone laugh? Kissed or hugged someone and meant it?
Life is short! You know the saying~dance like no ones watching. No one is watching. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. We need that more. Love like you have never been hurt. Time to try that one!
Just a little reminders that we need to hear from time to time. Life is short. Are you doing what you want to do? Do you care? Remembering what is important.
They say worry is a useless emotion, but who is they and do they have the power to say that? I have been trying to do that~worry less. Whatever will be~will be. Good thought but practical?~not so sure.
Not sure if you seen a professor the other day on tv. He was a young guy who was going to die and he had 3 young kids. He knew that he couldn't beat the cancer so he gave a "last lecture". I think you can find it on U tube. Anyways it was so touching, he was leaving a video diary to his kids on how to live.
And isn't that the nuts and bolts of it all, we are so busy working, worrying, making money, spending money. We forget to live. When was the last time you skipped just because? Picked a flower and truly smelled it? Made someone laugh? Kissed or hugged someone and meant it?
Life is short! You know the saying~dance like no ones watching. No one is watching. Laugh and the whole world laughs with you. We need that more. Love like you have never been hurt. Time to try that one!
Just a little reminders that we need to hear from time to time. Life is short. Are you doing what you want to do? Do you care? Remembering what is important.
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