Happy Halloween

Happy Halloween. One of my favorite times of the year. You can dress up and be whom ever you want to be. And not one person says a word or stares at you funny. You are accepted no matter what. Sometimes the crazier the outfit- the more it is accepted. Wow if we only could think it was Halloween every day. We would be a lot happier. Accepting all no matter what. Kind of sad to think that if we wear a mask all is good but if we take all the those layers of fake only a few are let in.

So wear your masks today but be sure to wash with soap tonite or you end up with pimples in the morning.

Random Thoughts throughout the Day

Counting blessings one by one. Thankful for all I have. Knowing that all that comes my way is necessary to go through and not around. Path is paved. I am better for walking it. Not alone but in great company. Stumble and fall but get right back up. Life is good if we let it. Let's try! Positive and strong. Brave and beautiful. Rejoicing in life. Thankful.

And On The Seventh Day...

Sunday a day of praising the Lord. Resting on the couch on a raining day. Doing laundry and preparing for the week. The what I have too dos and not so have to dos. Raining-great day to just stay in. No not so fast. Did you run? Nope and Cancun is less than 32 more days. Worked way to hard to call it quits.

Been noticing on my runs which are now in the cold and sometimes rainy days that people are no where to be found. Have they given up? Where did they all go too? They must be inside on the tread mill. They are not outside. Oh believe me I thought many times about giving up. Oh that would be so easy. But there is something inside saying this is the new you. This is how we do it now. You like the results and they were not easy to come by so continue on the path that you started. It is worth all the sweat and tears. OH yes and some days there are tears. You would think that losing weight was the hardest of the journey, not so. Maintaining is so very hard. Put on 5lbs and I feel every bit of it running. But the good thing is I know what I need to do it get it off. Or at least not to do to put more on. A learning curve is needed here. I know what makes me happy and feel good about myself. That is a good thing to know that it is not what other feel about you it is YOU! Growth it is happening. Pleasing oneself the most gratifying and hardest to do. Hardest on the ones we love including self.

Reevaluating oneself again. Ahhhh gotta love it!

Can someone say pass the bean dip!

I had a blast last night. Decided to host my first ever Halloween party as a couple with Joe yesterday. Together we put alot of work planning it and Joe worked really hard on getting the barn ready. Didn't get the response from people we invited but those who camed seemed to have had a good time. I was pleased with how it all turned out. Now the mess to clean up today yeah! Thanks to all who attended, it was appreciated. And to those of you who couldn't come you missed out! Costumes where super. A for effort there. Glad I did it won't do it again. Na never say never it comes back and bites harder than the first time.

Pull Out the Bitesplint

Why is it that everything to worry about is worse at nite. Is it because you finally take the time to think about everything. In turn give everything the worst possible situation. What a restless night. Woke up twice in a panic. Why not real sure why? Was it something I ate or something that was said or not said too me? None the less it is morning but still dark so the feelings are still real and not quite calmed down.

Why do we worry about the uncontrollable? Why does one seem to worry more than the next? Is it in the genes? Is it something that we can work on and get better at? Or is it getting worse with age? Would it make a difference if there was someone to share it with? Especially in the dark. Time again the pull out the bitesplint-my jaws hurt.

Waiting for the light to get a better perspective on everything. The "what matters" and the "not so much of what matters". Need a good run to clear my head. Hopefully it is not raining tonight. Needed it yesterday but weather made me stay home. Ate a bunch of chocolate though. Guess it could be something I ate. Ha ha. Deep breaths deep breaths. Evaluate what needs my attention. Looking forward to my vacation-40 days you know. But know that I have to clear through the "junk" before I can rest. One more breath. It all works out. Venting in the dark!

Realizing Why

Coming to grips with age. Knowing that we are not indestructible. Knowing that we are born so that we can die. Oh yea, I know that but what to do when it is staring you in the face and you have to deal with it. We all have a date marked on the calender-some sooner some later.

In the past seven years, I have been granted a gift. A realization that life is short and precious. Sometimes we need to make more of an effort into it to get the returns that we desire. Things are not just given they are earned. Walk the high road and returns are great. I have learned through my own type of deaths that there is light at the end. Turn to the Lord and he will get your through all your storms. The big and the little ones-if you give it too him. My dad told me that many years ago and I didn't know what that meant or how to do that. Time, learning, and observing-now I know.

I would have never thought that I would be here-in this place-in this state of mind seven years ago. My life was headed down a different path. Not necessarily a bad one but not a full filling one. It still amazes me today that if I would have taken a different fork-where would I be. Don't get me wrong I am happy for where I am. I am grateful for all I have and who is in my life. I know my Father. He has given me the ability to truly get to know my mom and dad. I am grateful to see the "gifts" I have. Some don't allow for that to happen until it is too late. I am glad that I see it sooner than later. Once again Life is short! Are you where you want to be and who you want to share it with? Are you doing all you want to do? Are you making a difference in others life? Do you even care?

Time to dig the layers of dirt off. Find the plant. And stop and smell the roses...we all have them!

Eleven Years ago... A Boy!

Woke up today at approximately the same time I did eleven years ago. Hard to believe that my first born son is eleven today. Where did all those years go to? I don't feel that old. Does it happen over night? One day their babies and the next day they are having their own? Is that how it feels mom and dad?

Time seems to go so fast and the older I get the more that that seems true. Only 51 more days and I will be 40. That is just plain crazy. Not worried or stressing about it, it is only a number. I feel that I look good and have a better attitude then 10years ago. So that is proof positive that it is attitude that gets you by, not the digits you have.

Contemplating about the past choices I have made. Looking back on all the forks in the road. If I would have gone left instead of right? Where would I be today? Would it have been better or in the end do we get the best now? I think that. Remember I wrote long ago that we are where we should be now. Sometimes it just takes time and lessons to get here. Trying to understand the lessons is the hard part. Sometimes it shows up along the path, the why it happened that way and sometimes we never know. I am grateful to know some on my Whys in life. Some are still a mystery that I guess I don;t need to know just yet. Still on my journey. Many forks ahead. Happy and positive that life is good. Looking forward to the future and what it has instore for me. Life is good if we let it. Enjoy!

Debate..

Entering a new phase of life. Changes seems to be happening if wanted or not. "Our economy is bad? Gas is up, and how are you going to heat the house this winter? I am constantly reminded about how it is on the outside-by my patients. I hear more and more the "whoas" of society. Am I the local bartender? I have no idea how I am doing it or how it will work in the future. I know that I put a lot of faith in God and know that if he gets me this far, he will get me through.

Oh I am not living with rose colored glasses. I know that I have to make wise choices and not live above my means. I thought the other day that while the patients keep coming in, I need to work. So add a day here and there and save. Christmas is fast approaching and my 4oth is right around the corner. The youngest asked the other day about how much stuff cost? How much I make? I was quick to point out "bills of the month". I think he got it. I hope that they see that money doesn't grow on trees. Trying to teach lessons with out the having to go to school. Everyday stuff that is in his life. Importance of saving up to buy something that is worth more than the moment.

Saying a little prayer, realize that I am thankful for "ALL" I have. And I don't mean just the "STUFF".

R U Wondering???????

Have you been hanging on to your hat in wondering how the "off" day went? Well kids didn't sleep in, they have their mother alarm clock inside of them. Up at 6:15 and wondering why the clocks where unplugged? Remember when you had a snow day and you woke up to your mom saying go back to bed you have no school? That only made you more excited to get up and look at the snow or watch the news to hear it yourself. So anyways I let them get their hour of TV in and said we have stuff to do. And the groaning began. "It is a day off we need to have fun". Oh you better believe this is going to be fun.

Started out with the fact that they will get a bigger allowance and slurppee if they run with me. Well long story short the bedrooms are clean (4 garbage bags later) and vacuumed and I have a good feeling. That was hanging over my head for weeks no months. Every time I thought we could get it done something came up better than worrying about clean bedrooms.

I got in a decent run with out boys because slurppee where not that important but playing with "lost toys" where. Another good feeling. Made the boys go to the store to get last minute stuff for the party and felt with no boys. So happened that two moms where shopping too and wanted to relieve me of my motherly duties. Which in turn meant time to finish the cleaning of my house! Funny how that works. If we only continue to look on the bright side, it does show through!

Feeling a bit more completed. Jobs well done and it have my hair. Thin and grey but still have it. Looking forward to slow down a bit and let the cold weather take over. Meaning more cuddles in blankets and decaf coffee. Don't forget the baths, my half hour get away. Looking at my cup half filled and wanting to add a little Bailey's to it!

Aww Come On

Another day off and a ton of things planned. Finish cleaning the house for the Pampered Chef party I have planned tonite. Go grocery shopping for the last minute stuff I need. Go for a long run (haven't done that in a long time). Get out Halloween stuff to start decorating the yard. Finish laundry and strip beds for the week. So much planned and the it hits at 6am- no school water main break! NO! Well trying to find the positive, boys are cleaning their rooms! Been wanting to work on that for weeks and no time for it so...incentives, incentives. They want so cold hard cash so I finish the downstairs and they stay in the upstairs. Funny how things work. Going to make this work to my advantage. Already shut off their alarms so they sleep in and the BOOM they won't know what hit them. Quality time with the boys too. Spelling and reading for a Slurpee and bike ride there for exercise. It is all going to work and if it doesn't you will hear about it. The ups and downs of life. Grateful to have them.