Finish Line

Well the results are in and I finished. Better than last year but not nearly as close as I ended the season with. Disappointed a bit but glad the season has begun. Looking forward to the race season. Gives me a sense of accomplishment. I feel like there is something I can do and do well. I may not win the race but I finish gasping for air. It feels good in the end. I usually get a sick feeling in my stomach and worry right before the race but when it is done, I feel great. I am glad I stuck with it. Not easy as people may think. Oh it is just a race that doesn't count or you won't win any prizes or money. But that isn't what really counts is it? It is the pride of doing. Knowing that I am doing something good for my body. Feeling the soreness in the legs, knowing I gave my all. Pushed beyond what I am accustom too. I am a runner! (I like the sound of that).

Starting a journey that may not be easy at first but worth it in the end. Stepping out of one's comfort zone. Seeing the bottom knowing that we can only go up. Pushing through all the "stuff" of the world, to finally see what is important. That is a good feeling. Knowing where you came and where you don't want to go. Knowing that it is worth it in the end...priceless for sure.

Have you started your journey? What are you waiting for?

Run Because I Can

Well this is the second attempt at blogging this subject. Last one I did yesterday got deleted by goggle. It seems I had a virus in me that wouldn't let me write. Hoping today that I can because today is my first race of the season. I am excited and worried at the same time. A few things are different this time around. I have kids to cheer me on today. That I am very thankful for. Yesterdays the boys ran their race and I was so proud.

What it means to have the support of knowing that someone is there at the end of the race. Even if you don't come in first or second, knowing that someone is going to be there to say you did good or even hold you up at the end when you feel that you are going to fall over. Kind of like a relationship, knowing that through it all someone will be there in the end. I have practiced through the cold winter and I am ready for the season to begin. It gives me a renewed feeling. I am ready for new and more challenging runs. Running has given me some new found confidence. Before I believed that I couldn't run, now I just do! Like the story goes... Run Forest Run!

In Twenty Years...

Here it is again, that feeling of how am I going to do it all. How on earth am I going to get it all done to way I want it. I get up early because at nite I am so tired. Try to get dinner started and prepared so that I can come home and get the kids and I out for some form of exercise. Then eat and some down time and its bedtime. Only to wake at 4am worrying about the homework that didn't get checked, the phone calls that didn't get made, the conversation that didn't get talked about because they don't do well in the morning. Deep breaths again.

Why do we put so much undo stress on ourselves? We didn't come with the title
"wonderwomen", so why do we expect that out of us? High expectation? Worried that we will fail as a parent? Wonder how others think of us? Why are we so hard on us and expect so little of others? Do the ones that appear to have it all together, really do? Do all wonder these same things and don't express it or show it? I think I would explode.

I know that I have alot going for me. I know I get overwhelmed. I know that I will get over it. I know that I have a need to just let off some steam. I know that I am not alone. I know that I have a lot to offer and do. I know that I am a good mom even when days go by and no one seems to affirm it. I know that I am loved. I know that I have a journey. I know that I am meant to do great things. I know that HE knows and that is all that should matter!

Opportunities?

Does the early bird really get the worm? When one door closes does another door opens or maybe a window? If it doesn't work out do we think, will it work out for the better in the future? Hmm. A few things that have happened this week leads me to these questions.
We all seem to have thoughts on how things should be. But what if all of a sudden they change.

I was taught that I need to flow with it and see where it takes me. He never gives us more than we can handle. I have been trying to live this way since my life was turned upside down many years ago. Oh it took a long time to except that, but I have been trying to live that way ever since. Sometimes I have to wait to see how the things that change are going to be for the better. But some way some how they do. May times I have to look beyond the two feet ahead of me. So today I am looking four feet ahead. Trying to understand the why's and how's it is going to be for the better.

When we let people come into our life, we let in a lot more worries and hardships. But on the other hand, we gain a lot more love and happiness. It is just how that works. Nothing ventured~nothing gained. Good with the bad, joys with the pains. It is just how it is.

So today I am looking at the glass half full and knowing that things are going to work out for the better. More growing and changing will happen. Open to it. Can't stand, where we sit!

Saturday Adventure

Adventuring out to shop with 5 kids under 13. Hm that was a challenge. But it is something that we have to start doing. This is life and we have to start living it. In and out of a car that holds only 7 and is stuffed. Sometimes I think why did I get rid of the mini van? Three out of 7 needs shoes. So off to the store we go. We don't find them all at the first store now we have to go to at least 4 more stores. Then I m hungry comes into play. Then I have to go to the bathroom. Stop at Mc Donald, usually cleaner bathrooms there. But no you can't eat a snack there. We need to go to Meijers out of tp paper. Need to get stuff for dinner. But wait they will not last, they are hungry now. So grab veggie dip and crackers. Raw veggies to snack on as we make dinner. That went over well. Wonderful and healthy dinner made with four hands helping to make it. Lots of hands to set and clean off table. Clean up in minutes instead of an hour. Movie nite because it is raining and we are all tired from the craziness of the morning. I took Cas to her band concert and Joe and boys and M went to Z bb game. Meet at lunch time.
Extended families can work and work out well. Go with the flow and it all works out in the end. Going to learn patience with this one that is for sure. But I know that rewards will be plenty.

Was I Hit By a Truck?

Well woke up this am. Can't sleep I'm sore. Going to delay the workout this morning and clean house instead. Planning on coursing out a half mile run so that the kids can run it. They are running the kids race for St Pat's. So hopefully when they come home, some of my soreness will be gone and I too will run with them. They have been really good about doing some form of exercise three to four days a week. My daughter continues to challenge me. I have gotton to the point that I say it isn't an option, it is required. It comes off as hard at times but what do I do. I have learned that it takes an ah ha moment and it took thirty years for me. I am praying this one comes sooner.
Continue to support and listen. Show by example. Having Joe come into the picture should help. He too is a big supporter of get out there and move. Maybe he can work on her and that will distance the feet abit more. Hmm good idea I think. Any positive comments from you reader would be appreciate It is 55 degrees out at 5am. Spring is out there I know and I can't wait to get going.

OOOMMMMGGGGGGGG

Wow I just got back from a kick ass double session workout at this new fitness club that I joined. I have never sweated some much from one class in all my life. I feel good now but I was dying not more than a hour a go. But boy do I feel strong. The knee is doing pretty good. I have ice on it right now. It is amazing how a taste of spring will do wonders for the mind. It got up to high 50's today. Boy do we need some of that. Haven't you notice the crabbiness in the air. People don't even realize they are doing it. We need some sun and outside activities.
Went for a mile run yesterday. Didn't want to push the knee. Plans to run one and half or two tomorrow. I have that renewed feeling. The one that I count on about this time. Even seen two motorcycles going down the road earlier. Starting to get a bit of an itch for that also. Looking at the calender and see the need to set some goals for the spring and summer. It flies so fast. I don't want to miss it. I know that I have so many plans ahead. I want to stay busy for Sept 11 will be here before you know it. I don't want to be caught in a panic. Wow I'm hyped. Worked hard and belly full. Feels good.

Limitations

We all seem to have them. But what if they come unforeseen? What do we do with that? I wiped out my knee skiing last week. Oh the minute I did it I thought ~Ugh you are so stupid! You don't ski nor do you like it. So then why? Why do we put our selves into things we normally wouldn't do? Stupidity? Challenge? Adventure?
Not sure why we do the things we do. I know that now I have a not so perfect knee that I can not run on and other forms of exercises are a challenge as well. Can't help to wonder if this is a glimpse of some more of the challenges I face in my future. Waiting to see a bigger picture. Hmmm. I am sure that it will heal. Still working on that patience factor. Time and patience seem to be the things I need help on the most. Knowing that I have come so far but yet wondering how far I have to go to reach the end. Or do we ever reach the end? Knowing that you have conquered the feet that you have struggled with all your life. I think that may be when we die. When we finish all the issues in our life, a sense of peace. Hmmm still thinking about that one.
Limitations~trying to work around them so that they don't slow me down too much. Or maybe it is time to rest and reevaluate again. Hmmm didn't think about that til now. Change course and see what is on the other side. Ekks scared of that. Unknown and unfamiliar. Not liking the sound of that. Try finding the strength in other things. This didn't start off as a pondering~hmmm.