Trying to decide if it will really matter in 20yrs. The very strong wind woke me today, one hour before I normally am up. Stretching I begin to remember all the worries I went to bed with. Kids and school top on the list. Home work is hard for the boys. Trying to fit it all in and understand it all, not exactly working. Starts out all good and then BOOM. Trying to deal with their dad with some kind of understanding and trying so hard to stay on an even keel. Soon will be dealing with him in court, not fun. With the saying in the back of my head...Be careful what you wish for? That is an awful way to wake in the morning. So blog. Get it out and move on.
So many things on my mind. Trying to weed through and figure out if it is stuff or STUFF. But isn't it all just stuff. There is a bigger picture. What is important. Be a good person, do the right thing, take the high road and it all works out. Give yourself a break because we ain't perfect. It is one thing to screw up on your own life but when you got the back of three others...UGH! Hoping when they are older, they realize that I did my best-with what I had-at the time. Don't want them to go into counseling for years because of something I did or didn't do for that matter. Just want them to know I love them.
Mom Dad ...You don't have to worry I know you did your best. I know that I am loved. I turned out perfect. Thank you. Hopefully along the way, I have let you know this many time throughout all the' trials and wins ' of my life. You are a direct result of who I am. As time continues on, I hope that will be of great comfort when the road seems to get shorter. It all works out for the best. Sometimes it is hard to see that through all trees. And there is a lot of trees right now where I stand. I hope all your trees are nicely trimmed and groomed.
Will it matter in 20yrs? NO? Yes? Not so sure? Still on the fence!
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Think about all the people who share the stage with you as you move through life. Can you affirm that everyone you need shows up, and that they’re perfect in every way for whatever needs you have at the time? In this intelligent system that you’re a part of, everything arrives from the field of intention where the infinite, invisible life force flows through everyone and everything. This includes you, and everyone else as well. Trust in this invisible life force and the all-creating mind that intends everything into existence.
I suggest that you do a quick review, and note all of the people who’ve shown up as characters in this play called your life. It has all been perfect. Your ex-spouse showed up at just the right time—when you needed to create those children you love so much. The father who walked out on you so that you could learn self-reliance left right on time. The lover who abandoned you was a part of this perfection. The lover who stayed with you was also taking his or her cues from Source. The good times, the struggles, the tears, the abuse—all of it involved people coming into your life and then leaving.
This is your past, and whatever your energy level at the time, whatever your needs, whatever your station in life, you attracted the right people and events to you. You may feel that they didn’t show up when you needed them, that in fact, you were alone and no one showed up at all, but I urge you to see it from the perspective of all of life being in divine order. If no one showed up, it was because you needed to handle something on your own and therefore attracted no one at that time. Viewing the past as a play in which all the characters and all entrances and exits were scripted by your Source and represent what you attracted at the time, frees you from guilt, regret, and even revenge.
As a result, you’ll go from being an actor who’s influenced by others playing the roles of producer and director, to being the writer, producer, director, and star of your glorious life. You’ll also be the casting director who possesses the ability to audition anyone you choose. Base your choices on taking the path of no resistance and staying harmonized with the ultimate producer of this entire drama: our universal all-creating Source. By Dyer
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