Only What You Can Handle

I have heard in a sermon that fear is the opposite of faith. Does that mean don' t worry? I know I shouldn't. God has my back always. Then why do I worry? Is it because my needs may not be met at my time? Not God's time. I guess that is what I am dealing with now. Not my time, God's time. Not my way-God's way.
Hard one to learn. I do believe that the plan is all laid out. Trying to see the good in all things when sometimes that is blinded. Wondering why things happen the way they do. To work on faith? To work on leaning on others? To work on building a relationship that was not that developed? To discover one's own strengths and weaknesses? Wondering why?
Pondering back to my road, been through a lot. Days went by when I never thought the heart ache would never end. Then it did. Wondering did I learn what I was suppose too? Did I pass some sort of test? No I went to my God and laid it all on his feet. I found out that I am nothing with out him.
When the road gets bumpy and you don't think you can walk another step-give it to God. And I am!

Summer please

Struggling with my workout this week. Not sure why. Nothing has changed. Well millage has but I am struggling to get past the two miles on treadmill. Ugh. That is frustrating. For this is suppose to be my big week. When I don't have to be home at a specific time. My kids are at dad's and Joe is great about making dinner. Not sure if it is the workout or me? I am half way thru the schedule of training for a half marathon. Thinking of repeating the last two weeks to work on stamina. Working on diet this week too. Well that has changed but I would think for the better not the worse. Maybe I am missing the joy in all of this. I do miss the outside. I would much better like to be outside running then on a treadmill. I get so hot so quick. And boring, so boring. I hear that it is going to be nice out next week. In the 40's. Now that would be great. Maybe I will see if the it stays lighter out after work. I haven't even payed attention to that. I just head to the gym and when I come out it is dark.
I think I need a change. Mix things up. I think I need summer. I am ready. Time to get ready for work. Thanks for the vent.

Run Forest

Sunday was the last day I ran. That was a 5 miler. Today the college was open and I was ready to get to it. I knew I was 11 miles behind my schedule cuz of the snow. So hit it hard and I did. It felt great. Running is getting easier. I start to think about quitting at 4 miles instead of 1 and half. Then I think I am so close to 5, I better keep going. I won't get in my 15 this week but I did other things such as biking and shoveling snow. Feeling good about my workout and hoping it shows in the summer clothes. Las Vegas is right around the corner and I can't wait!