Under Construction

Finding time to do all that is required and all that is wanted. Hard to do. Struggling with the past and how it was and the present in how it is. Trying not to lose all that was started but trying to find the happy medium that satisfies me and all that are in my life. Feeling all the outside worries, trying to rely on faith. Wondering when the next big workout when come and trying to squeeze the little ones in when the bulk of time seems to fade. Keeping on the path that was set but not letting it become the Almighty. Finding it hard to balance and be peaceful in the decision that is already set in stone. Patience that seems to elude me every time. Working on that one life long. Seeing that fairness isn't always seen right away. Time sometimes is the essence. Watching all things come together. Wondering why it took this long. Searching for some answers. Wondering if it really matters. Still believing that best is yet to be, even if we can't seem to see how that could be. Relying on faith...still work in process. Knowing it shouldn't be!

Testing Time

Well, time to finish the last of one of the goals that I started earlier this year. It is testing day for national board for local anesthesia. Nervous, anxious, and just plain excited to get this completed. Has been hanging over my head for a month now and finally I can take the exam.
But in this last month, so many things have come to my attention that makes taking this test, just that a test. It doesn't make or break who I am or what type of hygienist I am. It is just one more hoop I need to jump thru. I have studied hard and I can do it. So when you read this, say a little prayer. We can all use a little more of that. Realizing that it all needs to be put in perspective.

Never Say Never Again...What?

Boy, has that phrase bit me in the butt more than one time in the past couple years. It will probably will again for the next many also. Well the Easter bunny has visit our home. Didn't think I would be having him over so soon. I was looking to fact when the grand kids would visit and the bunny would return. Thinking maybe in 10 years or so. But life twists and turns and we have the Easter bunny, Santa and the good old tooth fairy visiting again. Isn't life funny? This year the bunny had lots of help. Thanks Kc. Stuffing at midnight was the hardest thing. I think I saw a glimpse of that furry bunny at around 4. I guess he was busy at others house at midnight.
Any who, life changes. Life is good and I am a lucky girl. Thanking God for all the blessings I have received. Glad I stayed the journey.

We Are All Winners...Maybe Even Winers (at the end)

Well the race is over and the work is done. Finished two classes this weekend and finished my first of many races. Overall thoughts...feel good about what I have done. But what I feel most proud of is that my kids, all three of them completed the race too. Casey who walked it finished in a decent time. She was smiling and decorated herself for the theme. Trystin whom never has run a race or even ran than more a mile, did a 5k in 25.49. Wow super proud of that. Told him that he should start to run. And Carson, the one I worry about the most. He has the self esteem of a champion. I knew he would struggle and wasn't prepared but would wait for him at the finish line. He came in 35.45. Tears flowed and I knew they would but there was a sense of pride there. I am proud of all of them. Even my husband, who I didn't see in the beginning and barely seen him in the end, I was proud. Proud of the fact that we are working on health in our house. We are trying to feel better about ourselves. It is a process. Hopefully we can get the kids in more events. We will see. The consensus last nite is "I am sore and my legs hurt"...ahhhhhhhh

Almost There

Journey almost completed, well at least one of my endeavors. My college class is done today hurray. I would yell that loud and clear but everyone is sleeping right now. I can honestly say I don't want to go back to school. Well this may be different if I was doing something that I liked or wanted to learn. I think the clinical part of this was good but as for the book work UGH! Now I feel a bit for Casey. She studies hard and I do appreciate that. As for the boys not so much. I only have the state board to pass and I can't do that for a couple weeks. I will continue to study. I have a new found respect for anyone who holds a full time job, is a parent and trying to go to school. There is truly only 24 hours in a day and they need many more. I can not even imagine doing this as a single parent. And I know that is what alot of people do. I am thankful for my husband. Funny how things happen and how life progresses. Ask me five years ago, nope would have never thought I would be doing the things that I am today. Grace of God.

Church class will be done soon too. Two more classes before the banquet. I have one more thing to recite. You would think I would know it from my vast Catholic history but all the memorized prayers are getting jumbled up in the head. I pray from the heart now. Like He is right in front of me. This part of the class I feel is not necessary. Just going to wing it. What can they do, not pass me? Will be very glad when that is done. The next step will be in becoming a usher and taking on other roles in the church.
Running continues to be a challenge. Swimming is a enjoyment and biking just is. I will work more on that as the weeks roll on.
Still trying to control the stress 0f not having a vehicle. Sold my car on Craig's list one month ago and we continue to look for the car that we want. Ford expedition is what we want. Low miles, bells and whistles and low price. Still resting in the Lord for that one. Has caused some conflict but we are working it out.
Well promised the kids biscuits and gravy before I left for school. Got to get going. Thanks for the ear. Wish me luck, well a prayer would be nice. Learning patience, perseverance, and the fact that school still sucks. Ha ha did I say that?

In Process...Working On It...Hoping To Achieve It...

Life has been a bit challenging lately. I continue to attend my class for work. I have come to realize that I forgot how hard college really is. In the real world, I have achieved the ability to charm my way. Use all that I have learned to Obtain what is needed. In school there is none of that, well yes there is. I continue to do good in the lab part where we do the actual numbing of patients. That is easy. I have sample state board test that I have started to study and that is mind boggling. I am lost. Especially when it comes to the pharmacological aspect of it all. GREEK! To think that I knew this at one time, not so sure. I continue to pray that I know enough to pass.
The class at church has become a good thing. Not so much for the contents of it all but for the people that I have come to know and develop a new relationship with. Last week was Foot washing. Hmmm seems like a non significant act but it was quite eye opening. Letting someone serve you and you them. Quite spiritual.
As I enter this church many years ago, I was searching. Trying to find a home in which I felt safe, excepted. Many faces where there. Faces are now becoming names. Names are becoming friends. Friends are becoming hugs. That is what I was searching for. Not to mention a husband too. Ha ha you laugh but that was not a joke. I just had the personals as a little help too.
So on too my physical challenge. I continue to go work out pretty much daily. If I am not walking at lunch, I am biking in my bedroom. I purchased a stand with some Christmas money and got dad's bike a tune up. It seems to work fine again. Thought about buying new but this one seems to do what I need. Last nite I swam a half mile without stopping or even touching the walls. I was very proud of that. When I started (Casey informed me) I could only go to the wall and back with out dying of air. I have befriended many new people in my quest for trying to learn how to breathe in the water. Most of them are in their 60's and 70's but they seem to know what they are talking about. It is funny that we don't realize how important our body is until we come to that moment that tells us that we aren't going to live forever. So reach that ah ha moment early in life and some when they get up there. I am thankful for reaching it now.

I ran outside for the first time in months last week. The air was still cool, and my lungs suffered. I am convinced that tread mill running and outside running is very different. I continue to run outside and will opt that as much as the weather holds out. I have gone as least four times this week and it seems to be easier all the time. I feel very strong. I continue to struggle with the five pounds that I have gained. I wanted to be down 10 by St Pat's race but that seems to not be priority. Not sure why but the body doesn't want to give it up. Or I just don't want to be so restrictive in my diet. Oh I know that is the reason. I need to work on it.
I continue to move forward. I am trying to find time for all of those people and things that seem oh so important to me. I am looking forward to the end of my first two challenges so that I have the summer to focus on the last. I continue to pray for none of this possible with out God in my life. I am determine, opened and focus on what I need too do. I will continue this journey until it leads me home.

Too Much? Or Long Over Due?

Well my mental goal for the new year is starting this weekend. I will be taking a weekend course at Delta college. I will be learning to anesthetize patients. Not really looking forward to this one. It has been over 20years that I have been in a class room. Oh yea I go to the 12 hours for lectures that I have to do to keep my licence. But not where we have to actually work on patients or take a board in Lansing. Ugh!
Worried in many ways. Knowing that this is something that I knew I would have to do in the long run. Been putting it off for a long time. Decided it was time. Thought since I am doing this over haul in my life, no time like the present.
Wondering this morning as my body hurts (did a hour and half) training session in the gym last nite, which goal of mine will hurt the worse? Feel the best when completed? Feel to the core in the middle of doing it.
When I started the new year I never really thought about what I was doing. I sign up for the mental challenge in the fall of last year because that is when the course was offered. I signed up for the Understanding God course last fall but realized that was too much to do after being newly married. So this was the next session, the spiritual. As for the physical, I knew I didn't want to run 26 miles( no offense Darrin), but to swim a little and bike and run. Well that sounds like a winner. So Sept 11 a sprint triathlon is set. Yes that is our 1st anniversary and we are doing it together. No competition there.
So there are days like today that I can't sleep and I wonder if I bit off more than I can chew. Then I wonder if I wasn't pushing myself a little more to get where I need to be? Hmm just a thought. Outside the box? Oh yea WAY!