Thinking ...

Thinking of greener things right now. I am asking my patients questions on what they do to save extra cash these days. New things that I have discovered and work. Use aluminum foil in a waded ball to take out static cling. It does work for the most part. No need to use dryer sheets and that is money saved. You don't need a new ball every time. Put quarter cup of vinegar in laundry for freshness. Less soap then normal. It creates freshness and doesn't smell like vinegar. I haven't tried it but I am going too. Vinegar is cheap. To take out lip stick in clothes if you accidental wash a tube in your load, ammonia and dawn dish soap, did it yesterday and works like a charm. I think this will work on the grease stains that sometime appear out of nowhere.
Picked up my first retractable cloths line for outside. I have wanted a cloths line for almost twenty years. Guess I had to just go get myself. I do know someone who will put it up. Goal to have it up this weekend. Let you know. That will save money. Starting the garden this weekend also. At least working up the ground. Thinking that I may even can things. Now you know that is a first for me. Need help on that one mom. I will continue more on this later. Got to go for now.

In The Presence...Presents

Well warmer weather has come, well at least for a day or two. But I was out there and lovin it. Did some much needed running. Trying to find the fun in it again. Abit worried that that is getting old. But I think that the drive to get the kids more into "moving" is there. I have finally put energy into doing what I needed to do and now I CAN work on them and motivating them more.
Also having Joe in my life and us both knowing the benefits to a healthy loving family life has made a difference. Doing things with the kids at times can be challenging, not so fun. Even if fun was written all over it, it was more work than anything. ALONE. But when their are two the fun some how seems to shine more bright. I know you can understand that. Even chores can be a bit more fun when you have the help of sometimes 3 extra people. I hope the kids see that too. Heck as a group we have a whole base ball team. Ha Ha.
If I continue to stay in the moment I don't get too over whelmed but if I look into the future boy that can be a bit crazy to the outside world. But then again others don't live here and have no idea what it is all about. This is my life, my choice. Many too love and to be loved. What a wonderful gift.

Steady

The winds continue to blow, even harder now. When will the storm seem to diminish? I have left the bananas outside the door. I have rejected the negativity. I have stood strong but yet the winds continue to blow. Do they eventually blow themselves out? I give no fuel. I am hoping and praying that they get tired. They lose interest. Rejoice in the fact that I do know right and wrong. Stand strong and know him. Not easy but needed. He has gotten you this far. He will not abandon you now. Reconfirming where I need to be and what I need to do. Few will understand this but knowing is all I need!

Walking By Faith Again

Trying to figure out why people do what they do? Giving second and third chances only too be disappointed again and again. Do they feel threatened by me or what they see in me? Do they see that I am strong again. I do know what I want in life. Do they see the happiness that I have obtained? Do they want it too? Do they finally see what they decided to give up on so many years and realize the loss is greater than the deed? Why do I even care? Because their ignorance and unhappiness is poring out. Their ugliness is in abundance. The negativity is all around them. I am quick to put up my shield of white light. Sometimes I know ahead, sometimes I am blind sited. I refuse to let that darkness enter in me. I reject the ill feelings. I have changed. I have God on my side. I will let Him deal with their outside forces. Deep breathes. Rewards are great for those who walk a higher road. I have witnessed this in the past and I will continue to believe! AMEN

You Don't Live Here...You Don't Know

Money does funny things to one-don't you think? It can make a bad situation good and /or bad. It can make a good situation equal too. It can make the difference in wants and needs. It can make the difference in spending and saving for a rainy day. Who has it and who hoards it. Who realizes that it isn't our anyway, we were just given it to handle and use it as needed.



My children are maturing. I am trying to instill good health relationship with money. It doesn' t grow on trees. We don't harvest it in the fall and replant in the spring. We don't work to just blow it on junk. I give them an allowance so that they see how to save for the "wants" in their life. I am beginning to say~Ask your dad.



It is time that I don't keep them in the dark about issues that concern me and their father. I am sick of being the fall guy. They are old enough to know what really goes on. I am beginning to educate them on difference that people have and that is ok to be different. We as a whole will continue to see that all their "needs" are met but as for their "wants". Well it depends who you ask and what makes it a need or a want. Dad and I don't see eye to eye on that one. But then again he is not the one who clothes or feeds them on a daily basis. It is easy to come upon a situation for a moment and give your two cents, but if you haven't seen how the whole systems runs~you don't have any idea if that your so called suggestion will work. Nor do you live. My house, my rules~your house etc.

Finding out more and more that there are many reasons people grow apart and usually there is only one thing that "breaks the camel's back". Trying to straighten out all the things that come to my children from one that they love and explain my point of view on the subject. Not being in my home and seeing what takes place can make a outsider say that I spend my money on only me. Well as the saying goes Don't ASS U ME anything. You don't know and I don't care. But the fact of the matter is that my kids do. They love us equally and that is how it should be. I do think that if they lived there for more than "fun dad" times, they would see that mom isn't that bad. Mom is a smart business woman. Mom know how to run her /our house quite well. And guess what... she learned it from her mom and dad! The only difference is that they were a complete unit. They worked as a team. That is not possible at this time. Too much unresolved issues on one side. So many things that were not yet addressed. That is only me looking outside in. But until someone shows me different, that is the only thing that I can believe.

I am not blaming here, not at all. But I only will accept half fault. No more, no less.



So at times it is hard for the kids to see my side of the story when they are misled on views of others. But isn't that how life goes. Many ways of doing and seeing many things. I just hope that both parental views are seen equal eventually. Thought thoroughly and then make decisions as needed. I am not in for the glory but to see my kids really know what is important and what is just "stuff". Live happily and know that they are loved. I know that is what I want and I am seeing that I get that. But until they come to that realization for themselves, I will just help them along the way. That is my job as a parent, not their friend.

Not to Worry

If you haven't notice, I have taken a break from writing. Well not so. I just haven't let you in on what I have been writing about. Like a flower that has gone dormant for the winter, I too have been nestle down. Searching for some much needed answers to some much thought out questions. I too have been in a transition of life. Much like the change of seasons. Trying to find out what and where I belong. What is my purpose? I know that I am meant to do great things. I have known that for a long time. But is it just what I am doing now or is there more too it?
There are things that I am good at but I am not so sure what I am great at? Do all the good things lead to great in the great scheme of things? Where greatness is achieved? Does it even matter and who is even cares? What is the purpose of this journey? Am I doing all that I need to do to fulfill what I am meant to do? Or am I going through the motions? Looking for that sign? Will I even know if it hits me? Riding on faith. Putting alot in God, knowing that only He knows the outcome of this world. This is a good thing for those who believe. It is the non believers that seem to see this a naive. Those friends of mine who question living on faith. Whom to I listen? Who's life am I living? Not theirs...mine!
Looking for purpose...have you gone to Church lately? Why don't you come to mine? It is an invitation.